Letters

Our Contributing Editor, Paul Rudersdorf, who we affectionately refer to as "Peaceful Paul", has written a letter to all of us about the importance of writing letters. Reader Beware: This article is a tearjerker, but a necessary read for all of us as we begin to live our final act. 

Letter

Technology has made the handwritten note a thing of the past. With texting, email, LinkedIn, Facebook, and other media communications I care not to explore, the process of writing a letter, enclosing it in an envelope, and placing a stamp just seems like a waste of our precious time. Too many steps involved. 

I still get a smile on my face when a birthday or Christmas card arrives in the mail, even though these letters may only arrive once per year. I don’t collect much of anything these days, except meaningful letters I wrote or received over the course of my 66 years. I even organize my letters in binders, cataloging letters I wrote and received from my daughters, letters written to me that resonated, or letters I have written with a bit of emotional impact. 

Sometimes we can say more and go deeper with a written note than we can with the fear of speaking what is on our mind. When I receive a letter, I am grateful that the writer took the time to put their phone down, took out a piece of paper, and put thought and effort into thinking about me. It’s a feel good for sure. 

This brings me back to when I was 9 years old, and my father was in the hospital dying of cancer. No one in my family told me he was that sick. To insulate me from what was believed to be the right thing to do, my mom, and maybe my dad, wouldn’t let me go visit him in the hospital. There was no note, no phone call, no attending his funeral, no closure. My communication was a heart-felt statement from my mom on the day he died saying “Your father has gone to heaven.” 

It hit me like a freight train. 

About 40 years ago, I made up a letter I wish my dad would have written to me before he died. Here goes: 

Dear Paul: 

When you read this, I will be gone and in a different place. Your mother and I believed strongly that for you to witness my decline would have caused great pain for you as a young boy. I hope we made the right decision. I want you to know that wherever I am soon to go, I will be watching you grow up, play sports, go to prom, get married and have children. Though I wish I could be a part of you in an earthly way, I hope my spirit is always with you. Know that I love you. Please take care of your mother and try to always be kind and generous. You will be okay. 

Dad. 

Say what you need to say and write what you need to write. We never really know the future impact of our words.

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