Phone-O-Phobia, or Reflections On An Obsession (or whatever)!
It’s official, I’m addicted to my phone. My phone is everything to me. It’s my lifeline to the world, it’s my essential communication device, it’s my clock, my calendar, my memory, my reminder, my calculator, compass, my storage container, my entertainment, camera, credit card, wallet, GPS, contact list and telephone book. It’s my typewriter, Rolodex, file drawers, and secretary all neatly packaged in a handheld device that can be tucked neatly into a pocket when not glued to you ear, or held in your hands for easier textual communications. I am so dependent on this little device that I know that it goes beyond dependence to addiction.
I wanted to call this addiction Phone-o-phobia, but it turns out that that term is used. It seems there are a few conditions that involve an abnormal fear of noises, including phonophobia and misophonia. Then there’s “Phone phobia” also known as “telephobia”, which is the fear of making or taking phone calls. Wikipedia says it’s a type of social anxiety that can stem from a number of issues including personal performance; and we all know what that means. Lastly there’s … NOMOPHOBIA or NO MObile PHone PhoBIA. These are used to describe a psychological condition when people have a fear of being detached from mobile phone connectivity.
Consequently, I had to change the name of my addiction, fixation, phone fetish, obsession, or whatever it is, to a new phobia name or term no one has used. WOW, that’s harder than I thought.
I thought long and hard and have settled on…….Psycho-Cell-Adnormia.
Psycho-Cell-Adnormia is the unreasonable fear that you don’t have your cell phone near you at all times. It is the fear that you may miss an important call even though you are totally unimportant and never receive any calls other than telemarketers and political “ask” calls. There is a companion psychosis as well…. “Connectus-dysfunction “, the fear you won’t have the proper connecting cable while traveling and your companion will go comatose and unresponsive. Not your Life Partner; your little Cell Buddy. Then there is the “Mojave Desert Syndrome” or MDS which is the fear of having the same signal strength as the day you drove through the Mojave Desert on your way to Bakersfield. This is sometimes known as Little Bar Syndrome. It is not treatable and just comes and goes.
I wake up at 3:00 am and check that my phone is still plugged in and charging. I check the weather app at 4:00 am to see if the weather forecast has changed since 9:40 pm when I went to bed. I check my texts at least 4 times an hour right after I check my e-mail. I check to see if my Blue-Tooth is on and my AIRPLANE mode off. Is my WIFI on? Is my Personal HotSpot off? Are my Notifications on? All this fuss about a device I now know can be detonated by a foreign government.
It’s more than a task, more than an obsession, it’s clearly an addiction. It’s a life. I spend so much time thinking about my little Cell buddy that I’m contemplating naming it. You know, something like Celly or IPhen, but that would be a little nutty…wouldn’t it
